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July 27th, 2006


02:43 pm - This one just came to me...
Mended Me

{To feel--is to heal}

Grieving a loss,
welcoming the pain,
the anguish--
the agony--but not in vain.

My heart has been pierced,
bruised,
-used.
Ripped out of my chest, 
and propogated
for abuse.
Modeled for display,
"Come on everyone,
you can play."

Only the scorching flame
of the broken frame
[of me]
can breathe life into the weakened soul,
and ignite the spark,
of an undefeated spirit.

It is despair that finds me
thirsting for more,
and clenching onto the rope of life
even tighter.

Not letting go--and soaring even higher.

Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: You should listen to Inkwell ;)

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May 26th, 2006


11:11 pm - It's About Time I Updated
Daddy

behind bars
masking all your pretty scars.
you were always all
smiles and tears,
washing down your pain
with junk food and beer.

Ashamed to face your fears,
-they sat on a shelf,
bottled up in a jar.
You had nothing to be
afraid of then, nope,
nothing at all-

Just as long
as they remained far
-far from your heart. 

--Or else, they would have 
ripped your body to shreds.--

Alcohol solved all your problems
-your mistakes, your regrets.
Your insatiable hunger for
love and security constantly
needed to be met--so you fed
your body drugs and alcohol
to drink.
Good nourishment for your body.
You were always conscientious like that.

Somehow you have always
been impervious to death's grasp,
holding on to dear life
by a single piece of thread- 
Careful now, 
Warning: the thread is
slowly unraveling.

It will not be much longer
now before your time is up.
Prepare a nice speech for
your introduction.
-Hell has a seat saved
for you right up front,
where Satan will deliver
your Convocation.
Rest in Peace.
Current Mood: mellowmellow

(Leave a comment)

March 13th, 2006


01:18 pm - "Passion rules us all, and we obey."
Your Heart Is Red

You're a passionate lover - you always have a huge fire in your heart.
Too bad it's hard for you to be passionate about just one person!

Your flirting style: Outgoing and sexy

Your lucky first date: Drinks and dancing

Your dream lover: Is both stable and intense

What you bring to relationships: Honesty

Current Mood: goodgood

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January 19th, 2006


03:28 am - Necessary Despair
We blanket ourselves in our cells
-shielding ourselves from freedom.
Our minds and bodies have imprisoned
themselves not by force
-but by choice.
We are enslaved to mediocrity, and familiarity-

In return we are fed empowerment and strength.

Frightening is the thought of being released
from this cell
-from this security
-this home.
This place is reserved for fools like us-
This secret world is a sanctuary for lost souls
-for you and me.
It is our comfort, our safety,
the food we hunt for survival.

We thrive on simplicity-and we fear complexity.

We are afraid of the unknown and what it has to offer,
For fear that we must parent ourselves and
exercise our own knowledge and will.

We dare not tread on uncharted ground,

Nor do we inhabit foreign lands,
for fear that we may never be able to find
our way back to what we know
-and have known all along.

Paralyzed are the mind and body-
when incapable of escaping the hubbub and constancy
of life outside of ourselves.

Our bodies are engulfed by the flood of life's commotion
-And our souls are pierced by the lively race
that surrounds us;
For they are a race of lives truly lived-and us,
we encompass a race that is dead
-Dead to Life.
So then what is the purpose for desiring
to find the direct path back to what is
familiar?
-after we have experienced and
have been exposed to a new world,
separate from our imprisoned frame.

We would only be returning to our native land,
the land that conceived and birthed our fears,
our inadequacies, our self-hatred and self-loathing,
our mirage of happiness and contentment,
our dependence on isolation and incapacitation-

The Native Land being our own worst enemy-

Thyself.
Current Mood: depresseddepressed

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January 17th, 2006


07:08 pm - Your Wings Shall Set You Free
Angel
You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom see the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.

Image Copyright Sheila Wolk (prints available
through treefreegreetings.com) - words added by
myself.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
Current Mood: boredbored

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December 25th, 2005


06:18 am

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

Remember, Jesus is the reason for the season.


Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: water running

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December 14th, 2005


12:00 pm
X MARKS THE SPOT!

Appearance:

[X] I am shorter than 5'4".-I am 5'3"
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[X] I tan easily.
[X] I wish my hair was a different color.-maybe just a little lighter is all.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.-not yet...
[X] I am self-conscious about my appearance.-at times...
[ ] I have/I've had braces.
[ ] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.


Family/Home Life:

[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've ran away from home.
[x] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[ ] I have a sibling that is older than 25.
[x] I'm an only child.
[ ] I have more than 3 siblings.
[ ] I've legally changed my first or last name.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.


School/Work:

[x] I'm in school.
[x] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do my homework.-um... not so much, as of lately :(
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.-Due to the surgery for my nose: senior year of high school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job.
[x] I've been fired.-unethically though, I was out of work due to recovering from surgery, and my one manager neglected to inform another manager(s), and thus I was terminated; even though I brought in a doctor's note before and everything. Grr...
[x] I've skipped school.


Embarrassment:

[x] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[X] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.-Coca Cola, and it really hurt too!
[x] I've had my pants rip in public.-but it wasn't embarrassing so much, because they didn't rip near my butt-crack or anything, my jeans ripped where my knee was.
[x] I've sneezed in front of people and stuff came out.-but I think I blocked it with my hand, so I'm not sure if anyone saw anything... which is a good thing.
[ ] A piece of clothing has came off in public: NOT ON PURPOSE.


Health:

[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[x] I've gotten stitches.-many a time...
[ ] I've gotten staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've fractured a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[x] I've had a serious surgery.
[ ] I've had chicken pox.
[ ] I've had Measles.

Traveling:

[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[X] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] Ive celebrated Fantasy Fest in The FL Keys.-No but I've been there.
[ ] I've celebrated CRANAVAL in RIO.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
[ ] I've been on an island.
[x] I've been somewhere out of the US-Canada is the only place.




Experiences:

[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star.
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] I've kicked a guy where the sun don't shine.
[x] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving-NEVER!
[ ] I've been bungee jumping-NEVER!
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been skiing
[ ] I've been in a play.
[x] I've met someone in person from the internet.
[ ] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[ ] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show-so tasteless... I hated it
[x] I've eaten Sushi-so disgusting, never again.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.


Relationships:

[x] I'm single.
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[x] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right-I always miss someone.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[ ] I've kept something from a past relationship.


Sexuality:

[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[x] I have kissed a stranger.


Honesty/Crime:

[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world. (somewhat... yes I am)
[ ] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[x] I've shoplifted.


Drugs/Alcohol:

[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I smoke weed.
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[x] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.-eww, no, I think cough drops are gross, I don't even take them when I am sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.-either that, or I am the complete opposite, incredibly clinging and dependent on everyone.
[x] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic and\or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need the rest.
[ ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[ ] I've woken up crying.


Death and Suicide:

[ ] I'm afraid of dying.-I'm only afraid of how I'm going to die, as in whether there will be harm involved or not.
[ ] I hate funerals.
[ ] I've seen someone die\dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide-I have, however, entertained thoughts and ideas of suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism:

[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[x] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.


Political/Social Attitudes:

[ ] In general, I don't like people.
[ ] I'm a feminist.
[ ] I'm outgoing.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I'm Democratic-I'm not into politics...
[ ] I'm Republican-I'm not into politics...
[ ] I'm liberal.-I'm pretty conservative.
[x] I'm religious.
[x] I dress fairly modestly.
[ ] My attitude is, "If you've got it, flaunt it."

Random:

[ ] I can sing well.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I watch the news.
[x] I don't kill bugs.-I try not too...
[ ] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.-not always, sometimes they can be kind of funny.
[ ] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.-not often, but sometimes.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.-I can be.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair.
[ ] I have "x's" in my screen name.
[ ] I love being neat.
[ ] I love Spam.
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.
[x] I bake well.-I suppose
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun.
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[ ] I eat fast food weekly
[ ] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[ ] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[ ] I am really ticklish.-used to be, not so much anymore.
[ ] I love white chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names.
[x] I'm good at remembering dates.-birthdays specifically.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[ ] My answers are totally honest.-egh, I don't know, for the most part they are.

(Leave a comment)

December 10th, 2005


12:25 am - I took this survey again, but it's a little different this time...
Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
See catseye030485's results.Collapse )
Current Mood: coldcold

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December 9th, 2005


11:46 pm - This was odd...
Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
See catseye030485's results.Collapse )
Current Mood: hungryhungry

(Leave a comment)

December 8th, 2005


06:41 pm - A Man who will Kiss the Flame

"Please love let's make no impartial vow >> Let all fall away >> That's not crucial now >> I want a brave love, one that makes me weak in the knees >> I want a crazy, crazy love >> One that makes me come undone at the seams >> >> 'Cause I'm tired of all these pilgrims, these puritans, these thieves >> Of all these unbelievers who whittle love down at the knees >> Let these swift roads destroy themselves >> Let the world fall into its sleep >> For we shall we spared >> >> We shall be left standing >> To face what's left of concrete and honey >> >> Kiss the flame >> Let's run with the hunted, the untamed >> Kiss the flame >> Embrace the faceless, the unnamed >> Kiss the flame >> >> There are nightmares on the sidewalks >> There are jokes on TV >> There are people selling thoughtlessness >> With such casualty >> But wherefore art thou Romeo >> Where have all the brave men gone >> Show me one man who knows his own heart >> To him I shall belong >> >> Kiss the flame >> Let's run with the hunted, the untamed >> >> Kiss the flame >> Embrace the faceless, the unnamed >> Kiss the flame >> Kiss the flame >> Kiss the flame >> >> Please love let's make no impartial vow >>" -"Kiss the Flame" by Jewel, from her Spirit album

I want a man who will Kiss the Flame. 


Current Mood: lethargiclethargic
Current Music: "Life Uncommon" by Jewel

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